Despite Australia becoming a hugely multicultural country with people of all types and levels of religiousness, Christmas Day is still the only day where everyone stops to come together. Some love it. Some despise it. Which type of Australian Christmas person are you?
The Christmas Grinch
Why do these people hate fun? These all work and no play people aren’t just boring in December, they’re boring the other 11 months of the year. What is there to hate about a day where family gets together to eat and drink too much? Come on Grinchy, have a beer and some turkey. Relax by the pool and just chill out. We’re sure your boring job which is the only stories you have to add to conversations (because your life is so boring otherwise) isn’t that bad. Sometimes you wonder if New Years Eve comes and they just sit there frowning at the clock.
The OTT Christmas lover
On the other end of the scale to the Grinch, it’s the person that takes Christmas way too seriously. They’re the type of person why retailers start selling Christmas stock in September these days, because they just can’t help themselves. It may be 40 degrees in the Aussie December summer, but rest assured old mate will have their ugly sweater on. You can see the sweat beading off their forehead as they pull the Christmas cracker which to them, victory is more important than the test match cricket on Boxing Day.
The sports guy
In Australia, the sports are usually saved for the day after Christmas with the cricket and the Sydney to Hobart traditionally held on Boxing Day. However in the United States, professional sport is one of the main events on Christmas Day. Every party will have that one person in their fake NBA basketball jersey they got in Bali who’ll be staring at their phone all day apart from the odd occasion he’ll start talking about LeBron James like he is the man Christmas is about. It’s not LeBronmas, mate.
The stressed mum
No one stresses about Christmas Day more than the hostess mum. Everything is being done by her. The food, the decorations, the invites. Dad’s only job was to get ice from the local servo and now he’s racing around trying to find one who hasn’t sold out. Meanwhile mum is in the kitchen with the phone pushed between her ear and her shoulder talking to her sister or mother about the family member she’s most worried about making an idiot of themselves. Somehow, the turkey is cooked to perfection while this is happening. How does she do it?
The Christmas lights dad
When the old bloke in the street got all the Instagram love for his Christmas lights, dad put it in his memory bank for next year to get some pride back in his front lawn. He’ll forget about it for several months, but as soon as spring comes around he’s on the roof whacking away and YouTubing enough tips he almost becomes a qualified electrician. When December rolls around and he plugs it in, he stands there proudly and begs the family to share it on Facebook. Meanwhile, that other bloke in the street now has displays with moving parts and music. You just made yourself a big enemy pal.
The young person on Skype
For millennials, December is the perfect time to have a break from university or work to go to the other side of the world to “find themselves”. Every Christmas afternoon, some mother will put their glasses on and do the old person index finger press on their iPhone to Facetime their son or daughter. Not realising that it’s actually the middle of a cold winter’s morning and their offspring has had enough lager they’ve lost their Australian accent already.
The let someone else do it person
It’s not such a bad idea to let someone else take on the Christmas Day duties. Why spend one of your few days off a year sweating away in the kitchen or backyard and then spend the night cleaning up? Let Lantern Club take care of Christmas for you with amazing food and entertainment. For an amazing Australian Christmas Day, book a table on 8037 8200.
