The Rio 2016 Olympics has been run and done. The land of the free took home a whopping 121 medals home from Brazil. 46 gold, 37 silver and 38 bronze to be exact.
Meanwhile Australia had one of it’s worst Olympics in the modern era with ‘just’ 29 medals; 8 gold, 11 silver, 10 bronze.
And if you’re unfortunate enough to be dealing with an American bragging about their amazing athletes in between shovelling Krispy Kreme donuts and cheeseburgers down their gob, you’re probably wondering how you stand your ground and be still proud to be an Aussie. Well throw these gems back at old mate.
PER CAPITA AUSTRALIA WON THE MEDAL TALLY
America has a population of around 320 million people. Around 14 times more than Australia’s 23 million. If you divide each medal per million people, the Americans would have to share each medal with 2.64 million people. Meanwhile Australia only needed 800,000 people per medal. Even the second placed British needed 960,000 per medal.
AUSTRALIA BIGGER THAN TEXAS
Texas is America’s biggest state in terms of area and it’s also the closest in population to Australia (Texas has around 26 million people). If you divide the US’s medals up into Texans, the lone star state only scored 13 medals; six gold, four silver and three bronze. Our steaks in Australia are better too, just quietly.
NON-OLYMPIC SPORTS AUSTRALIA BEATS AMERICA AT
So the USA beat us in basketball? Big whoop. Let’s see the Americans match it with us at rugby league, rugby union, cricket or netball? Now they may say; “rugby? We ‘mericans don’t play no rugby. We play real football!”. But the fact is America has more registered rugby union players and more rugby clubs than Australia does! Americans aren’t overly familiar with cricket. They prefer baseball. And while there are very few American cricket players, there are seven Aussie major league baseball players including six pitchers active in the Major League Baseball competition. We also have nine current National Basketball Association players as well as several NFL players including a couple of non-punters such as defensive players Adam Gotsis and Jessie Williams.
We’re also better at F1 racing too. Australians have won four Formula One Championships and 38 grand prix wins. America has had just two champs and 22 grand prix wins (outside of when the Indianapolis 500 was part of the F1 championship).
AUSTRALIA ‘WINS’ AT GUN RELATED VIOLENCE
In the United States of America in 2015, over 13,000 people died via a firearm. In Australia only around 200 died in a year. And that was a bad year for us. The fact more people in America are shot dead in the US in one week than there are in Australia in one year is terrifying. This also makes our gold medal in the women’s trap shooting thanks to Catherine Skinner even more an amazing achievement. We don’t have a ‘right to bear arms’ and we’re very thankful for that.
HOLLYWOOD WOULD BE LOST WITHOUT AUSSIES
Acting is another thing Australians does punch well above it’s weight at. There’s even a week in Hollywood dedicated to Australian actors called G’Day USA. Australian actors are also masters at playing heroes or villains in hollywood block busters too. For example Aussies have played:
- Wolverine (Hugh Jackman)
- Thor (Chris Hemsworth)
- The Joker in Batman (Heath Ledger)
- Incredible Hulk (Eric Bana)
- Jake Scully in Avatar (Sam Worthington)
- Barbossa in Pirates of the Caribbean (Geoffrey Rush)
- Owen Lars in Star Wars (Joel Edgerton)
- Harley Quin in Suicide Squad (Margot Robbie)
- Agent Smith in the Matrix, Elrond in Lord of the Rings (both Hugo Weaving)
- Gladiator (Russell Crowe)
- Faramir in The Lord of the Rings film trilogy, Dilios in 300 (David Wenham)
- Robin Hood (Errol Flynn)
- Cinderella (Cate Blanchett)
- John Connor in Terminator Genisys, Malcolm in Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (Jason Clarke)
AUSSIE INVENTIONS AMERICANS COULDN’T LIVE WITHOUT
As said above, we don’t have many people in Australia compared to other countries. But that hasn’t stopped us from changing the world. Australians are masters at inventing things. Aussies have given the world
- The blackbox fight recorder
- Spray on skin for burn victims
- The electronic pacemaker
- Cochlear implants (bionic ear)
- The electric drill
- Ultrasound scanning
- The rotary clothesline
- The ute
- Steel teeth braces
- Wine casks (aka goon bags)
- Baby car capsules
- Pool chlorine
You’re welcome America.
FATHER’S DAY AT LANTERN CLUB
Do you or your dad have an American-sized appetite? This Father’s Day (Sunday September 4th), our MAZi restaurant has an amazing father’s day feast planned. Whether he loves seafood or he’s a meat lover, dad will leave more than satisfied! To book a table, click here.
© Lantern Club, Roselands